Three good things a day.
It’s not a spiritual mantra,
It’s a practical routine that helps me feel better as a parent during this chaotic time.
Do you want to learn some more about it?
Here we go :-)
One of the powerful tools I use while working with parents is the ability to look at situations from different angles. Change the story we tell ourselves.
Dr. Tal Ben Shahar, who created the S.P.I.R.E model, claims that a crucial foundation for people’s happiness is exploring the different angles and asking ourselves which perspective will serve us best.
For instance, I can focus on failure, tell myself that I can’t do it, or choose to look at the small achievements along the way.
Choosing a positive perspective increases the chance that although I failed, I will learn from my mistakes, be more resilient and self-confident.
Sound great, right?
The problem is that it’s soooo hard to practice. Especially when it comes to kids.
Like most of us, I’m programmed to pay attention to the downsides, notice the bad results. The good is obvious. After all, what’s so exciting about something that’s expected to happen anyhow?
Add to that the fact that these days I’m spending most of my time with the kids, and you’ll get a tense and negative atmosphere.
So, how do I do it? How can I begin to change the atmosphere?
Every evening, I share with each of my kids, 3 positive things I noticed that he or she did:
I noticed that you cleared the table, did your homework, turned off the screen after 20 minutes as we agreed, kissed your sister, picked up the wet towel from the floor, etc.
Sometimes it’s hard. Some days it’s almost impossible to find the positive stuff.
It’s a challenge, but It’s worth it. Because whatever we choose to focus on - it will grow.
Now I’m passing the challenge to you. Every evening, 3 positive things for each child (by the way, it works with your spouses as well!).
Be persistent, look for it and you’ll find it.
I promise that every day you’ll see your kids differently, and discover more of their talents and abilities.
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash