עודכן: 19 באפר׳ 2020
Today, like almost every morning, I walked my kids to school. we were talking, laughing, looking for rabbits behind the bushes.
As we approached the school entrance, they met some friends. It took only a second or two for them to wave good-bye and disappear, surrounded by a happy group of kids.
While watching them, I thought about the past year and the progress they made. Starting over as the new kids in a foreign country, not knowing the language, confused, depended. They became confident, part of a group. They are settled in, found the right place for them.
“It was just a matter of time”- I've heard that sentence so many times this past year.
I knew that.
But although I kept repeating it over and over to myself, my heart had trouble accepting it.
As a parent, it is so hard to watch your child struggling. Dealing with difficulties. Sometimes it may feel like the struggle is harder for me than my child.
It is so hard to be within the process, to wait for the result.
“How long will it take?”
This one of the main questions asked by parents in my consulting groups.
I understand them completely. They came to the training in order to achieve change and better themselves. They aspire and wish for a different reality.
They are eager for the change to come. A bit restless and impatient. How long must they have to wait? The point is that each of us, adults and children, have our own behavior and rhythm
Some of us adapt to changes better and quicker, some have more patience than others, and some are more stubborn. The work with each and every one is different and the process may change. Despite the fact that parents want to fix, improve and help, they cannot hurry time, can’t expedite the process.
“PATIENCE” we teach our young children. Sometimes I feel that it is us, the parents are the ones who should get better at it. Patience for the time it takes, for a change that happens in small steps.
Being a parent is more like running a marathon rather than a sprint -we do not get to see the result after 10 seconds.
In order to help our kids and ourselves, we need to:
1. Understand that a process takes time and that we are in the middle of a process. We mustn’t give up after the first fall but go on, be persistent.
2. Not to make comparisons - the starting point is different for each one of us, the time needed to make a change is different as well. Comparing ourselves to others will not help us. Acknowledging our own progress will certainly will!
3. Believe and encourage - belief in my child and myself. We all need encouragement especially when it’s a long process. It helps us to re-fined our strengths and to believe that we will reach our goal, even if getting there takes more time than we expected.
The summer vacation is almost here. All around me I hear parents mutter “Time Fly's…”
It’s funny how time never behaves as we want it to. Or maybe it is we who need to be more peaceful with time? Just let it do its job?
I wish us all a wonderful summer. If any of you facing any changes or transitions during the summer, you are more than welcome to contact me, I believe I can help
Photo by Estée Janssens on Unsplash